My specialty as a therapist is working with "Nice Guys", and I work to help Nice Guys finish first in their own lives.

What is a Nice Guy? In my experience, it's someone who acts nice even when they don't feel like it, even when they don't mean it, even when it might be more honest or appropriate to not act nice. For a Nice Guy, acting nice is no longer a choice, and that can cause problems.

How do I know this all? I'm a recovering Nice Guy myself. For years I worked so hard to please others, I'd often deny things to myself. Or, in wanting to be pleasing (in the short term), I'd avoid telling the truth. The results were usually not-so-nice.

At their core, Nice Guys are worried about people liking them. They don't believe they are likeable or loveable just being who they are, so they've adopted an ingratiating style as their way of being. This can work well for a long time, but usually ends up breaking down in intimate relationships.

When coupled, Nice Guys can become pulled between two people they care about and don't want to disappoint (like their mother and their wife). Or they can even avoid conflict so long they end up walking out instead of talking about what is bothering them (leaving a surprised ex behind). I find a lot of men coming to me trying to decide whether to make a romantic commitment, or to leave one. Also, Nice Guys are sometimes alarmed by eruptions of their own anger or resentment.

I enjoy helping Nice Guys find a different way of being. One that is more authentic, stronger, and that gets them more of what they want in life. If this sounds like you, give me a call or drop me an email today.